So Five Guys Walk Into A Dentist's Office
by alyssajoy64
Summary: Eagle has a secret. Alex finds it out. That means that K-Unit has a problem. A big, phobia-sized, more-than-slightly ridiculous problem.
1. WhumpaThon

_Hey all! I wanted to offer a bit of background for my story Live and Let Die, so here it is! There will be mentions of the events in this story within the next chapter or two of LALD as well. _

_For those of you who are waiting on an update for LALD, first off, thank you, and second I apologize for the delay. July has been an exceptionally crappy month including my mom having emergency surgery and having to put my puppy down. I will update soon, though. You have my word. _

_Finally, the chapters in this story are short, but it is completely written, so I will be updating once or twice every day until completion. _

_I don't own Alex Rider or any recognizable characters._

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><p>Combat training. Survive-a-beating. Whump-a-thon. Abuse-your-neighbor day. Whatever you wanted to call it, it still remained the same. And there was only one place on earth that I could look forward to it. A place that could quite possibly be the seventh circle of hell. Brecon Beacons.<p>

And here I was, back for round two.

I could hear Blunt's voice in my head now._ "We're just sending you back for a week or two of training, Alex_. _K-Unit will be returning for the same length of time as well. It's really very convenient for everyone." _

Right. Because we all got along so swimmingly last time.

"_This will be, after all, a good opportunity for you to get to know your team better."_

"_T-Team?" I stuttered. I had a hard time even wrapping my head around that term. _

"_Mmhmm."Blunt straightened an absurdly neat pile of papers on his desk. He looked up when I didn't respond, taking in the horrified look on my face. "I suppose Mrs. Jones didn't tell you, did she?"_

_I numbly shook my head._

"_As of 9 am Tuesday morning, K-Unit became your official backup unit. Mrs. Jones and I decided that it would be beneficial to have a team who knows both you and how you operate to assist in the field when it is needed. While they will be remaining on active SAS duty, you can expect to be seeing a lot more of them in the future. _

And four days into the 'future', here I am, preparing to fight three of them. Three of _K-Unit_. At once. Oh, and let's not forget about SAS-turned MI6-turned SAS man over in the corner waiting to be tag-teamed in.

So, to recap, we have me: one Alex Rider, a fifteen year old lightweight with eleven years of martial arts training and one year in the field, against K-Unit: four, testosterone fueled men with a combined weight of 720 pounds, black-belts or higher in numerous fighting styles, plus an average of 3 years in the military prior to SAS selection and one year working as a highly advanced and synchronized black-ops team in the field.

Great.

"Now you know the rules, try to avoid head and groin shots." Fox was acting as impartial referee before it was his turn to switch in and take a few swings. "And if you do hit someone there, run like hell." He smirked at his own little joke and I rolled my eyes. Oh, wonderful; he's a comedian. "Cub, any time you need a break, you can tap out, alright?"

Eagle smirked. "If he can still move any of his limbs."

I gave Fox a terse nod (decidedly ignoring the quip from the stork-man) and rolled my neck, stretching the muscles.

My game plan was to run them down for as long as I could while avoiding grievous bodily harm. They may have been bigger and stronger than I was, but I was small and slippery. And maybe, just maybe, if I could frustrate them enough, one of them would make a mistake. I would count KOing one of the four while remaining mostly intact as a definite victory point for me.

"You ready for this, Cub?" I looked up from the blue floor mats to see a feral smile spreading across Wolf's face.

Bloody MI6.

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><p><em>I'd love to know what you think! Thanks for reading!<em>


	2. He'th Pithed

**_Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed and alerted! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!_**

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><p>For as big of a build up as it had, the battle itself was pretty short. As in just under two minutes.<p>

We went through the normal things; kick to the shin here, swift jab the kidneys there, a couple football style slide-tackles thrown into the mix… And one knocked out tooth.

Now I know Fox had said no head shots, but it was completely unintentional on my part.

There we were, grappling like real men, when Eagle tried to punch my elbow with his _face_. Talk about desperate. I mean, has that ever worked for _anybody?_

Whether the man deserved it or not, that's how the four of us came to be on hands and knees in the combat room, searching for Eagle's MIA tooth that had flown out of his mouth like a little red and white astronaut.

We had been looking for about five minutes (with ever increased grumbling from Wolf and Eagle leaving a bread crumb trail with the blood dribbling from his mouth), when Snake gave a shout. "Guys! I think found something!" We scrambled around him to see tiny blood spatters leading across the left corner of the floor.

"It must have bounced a few times before rolling into the crack between the mats," Fox said with something close to awe in his voice.

It really was quite impressive. The actual landing spot had to be at least fifteen feet from where we had been sparring.

The fact that he might have just beaten a world record for longest tooth flight was lost on Eagle, though, who seemed to be taking the loss a lot harder than the rest of us.

And I was about to make it a million times worse.

"It'll be fine, Eagle-"

"Fine, Snake? Fine?" Eagle shouted. "How is this fine?" He bared his teeth at us, waving his hand at the black hole where his lower right lateral incisor used to be. A new surge of blood welled up in the socket as he did so, dribbling down his chin and making him look half crazed.

I tried to hold the snort back; I really did. Or at least make it sound like throaty cough. But it just wasn't happening.

Four heads swung in my direction. Three of them were looking at me like I was crazy; the fourth had turned mottled red with rage.

"You!" Eagle snarled. "I'm going to kill you!"

He lunged for me, but only made if half way before Wolf restrained him with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Chill, Eagle," Wolf said. "It was an accident."

Eagle glared holes in me a moment longer before shrugging Wolf off and turning away. He swooped down and grabbed his tooth from between the crack, roughly shouldering past me on his way to the door.

"Where are you going, Eagle?" Fox called after him.

"To get this tooth put back in my head!"

"What, you're not going to save it for the tooth fairy?"

The only response Wolf got was a one finger salute and the sound of the gym's metal doors slamming shut.

We who remained looked at each other, momentarily stunned by the diva-ish tantrum that we had just witnessed.

Fox looked at me, a small smirk playing on his face. "Nice going, Cub."

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for reading; I'd love to know your thoughts!<strong>_

_Booklover34242: I'm glad you like it so far! Here's your update. ;)_

_Albany: Thank you so much and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!_


	3. Would You Like Soup With That Whine?

_**I've had way, waaaay too much time writing this. Thanks for all your support – you guys are great!**_

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><p>We didn't see him again until dinner.<p>

The four of us were already sitting at our table when the doors to the mess hall swung open and in strode Eagle with a dark cloud the size of Wolf's ego hovering over his head.

"That can't be good," Snake muttered.

Two minutes later, a metal tray clanked down on the table next to Fox and Eagle slid onto the bench. The uncharacteristic scowl on his face held off the questions for few moments of silent chewing, but in reality, Eagle just wasn't that scary on even his worst day. It wasn't long, then, before Snake piped up and asked him where he'd been all day.

"At the med tent," Eagle said curtly.

"And?" Wolf asked.

"And they told me that I'll have to go to a dentist."

"So…?" Fox ignored the dirty look Eagle gave him and pressed on. "Are you going or not?"

Eagle stared at his tomato soup angrily. "Sarge said I couldn't go till the weekend," he muttered finally.

"On our weekend off? Man, that's harsh," Snake said.

Eagle gave a grunt and kept his focus on his meal, ignoring the subtle quips aimed at him and his less-than-fortunate mouth during the mealtime conversation.

I tuned out the rest of my unit, inconspicuously watching Eagle from where I sat. Something was off with him. It may have been my first day back, but I had already gauged Eagle's personality well enough to know that this was something he should've laughed off instead of brooding about.

A glance to the left told me that I wasn't the only one who saw it. Wolf was laughing half-heartedly with the others, occasionally joining in the conversation, but his eyes continually strayed back to Eagle. A frown flickered across his face at one point, but it disappeared as soon as it had come when he saw me watching him.

Eagle finished his dinner faster than the rest of us. As he stood and picked up his half-eaten tray, our eyes met. His lips tightened into a scowl before he jerked back and stalked off towards the exit.

"I can't believe he's still pissed," Fox said, watching his teammate's retreat.

Wolf shrugged. "Maybe he just hates Cub that much."

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. We both knew that wasn't the case. Shaking my head, I picked up my now-frigid garlic bread. "Or maybe he was just tired of having to look at your face," I said, casually taking a bite from it.

Fox choked on his soup.

I felt Wolf's glare burning into my back, but the wheels in my head were too busy turning in my head to care.

I had a pretty good idea what the problem was, but I wanted to make sure I was right first. And then I had to figure out what I was going to do about it.

FGWIADOFGWIADOFGWIADO

Eagle wasn't in our hut when we got back.

The others didn't seem bothered by it, though. Wolf collapsed on his bed, pulled out a cigarette, and blew smoke rings aimlessly at the ceiling, while Snake took to polishing his dress shoes and Fox pulled out a deck of cards and set up a game of solitaire.

Seamlessly blending in like the spy I was, I dug out a schoolbook I had brought from under my bed before sitting down on my bunk. A chapter on Charlemagne's conquests was the first I flipped to, and I spent the next thirty minutes pretending like it was even remotely interesting.

Thirty minutes. That's how long I had decided to give it before I hunted Eagle down.

When a half-hour was up and Eagle had still yet to return, I flipped my book close, slid off my bed, and casually headed towards the door.

"Where you goin', Cub?"

Of course it was Wolf; he was, after all, such nosey, controlling pain-in-my-butt.

I paused, hand resting on the door knob. "I dunno, Wolf," I said, turning to look at him. "Thought maybe I'd go throw rocks at Sarge's windows or something stupid like that." I slyly lifted a brow. "Why? Did you want to come with me?"

"Tch." The man rolled his eyes, one hand absently flicking the lid of his lighter open and closed as he settled back into his bunk. "Get out of here, brat."

I opened the door, smirking as I walked down the steps. It would appear that things were slowly melting in my glorious unit leader and I's icy relationship. Pretty soon we'd be able to have a civil conversation with each other.

And that would be weird.

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><p><em><strong>Huh. What in the world is going on, here?<strong>_

_How Awkward: I know, right? He obviously never attended a biology class… :P_

_Kelalex: Haha, it wouldn't surprise me. Eagle has a propensity for failing, doesn't he? _


	4. Late Night Phreak Out

It was twenty minutes till curfew when I finally found him.

I had stuck my head in the shower block as a last resort, and saw him in there in his shorts, towel drying his hair. The building was deserted at such a late hour, which I was grateful for. No witnesses equaled less of a reason for Eagle to act defensively, which equaled more of a chance that I would make it out relatively unscathed.

Or I could be totally backward in that assumption.

No witnesses could also mean no people to drag an enraged Eagle away from my broken body lying on the cold cement floor.

But I tried to be more of a glass-half-full kind of guy.

He didn't seem to hear me when I walked in, so I resorted to that awkward little cough people do to get someone else's attention. The cough that says their fairly sure the type of reception they'll receive is not exactly positive.

Eagle whirled around, a frown lining his face when he saw who it was. "What do you want, Cub?" His voice was more weary than angry.

"I…uh…wanted to check and see how your mouth is doing. I'm really sorry about that, by the way…" I trailed off as he gave me a pointed glare and turned his back to me. "…or not," I muttered.

_Well that went well. How about I just go back to the hut, bury myself in my covers, and pretend that I haven't been stalking a man who wants to twist my head off for the last forty-five minutes. _

Eagle seemed to think that was a grand idea, too. Without another look at me, he slipped his t-shirt over his head and gathering up his shower supplies. As he shoved past me on his way out, I made a split second, possibly very bad, decision. I grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop.

"Eagle, listen. I understand, ok?"

_Direct. To-the-point. We're doing good here. _

He looked at me, his eyes dark with wariness and anger.

_Or not. _

"Understand what?" The words came out as a dangerous hiss.

That _should_ have been enough warning for me to stop, 'should have' being the key phrase in this sad, convoluted story. "Look, I used to be scared of the dentist, too, alright?"

Suddenly, I wasn't standing any more. In the three seconds it had taken for those words to leave my mouth, Eagle had dropped everything he was holding, wrapped a fist in the front of my shirt, and slammed me back up against the cinderblock wall.

Ok, so that wasn't exactly the reaction I had planned for.

"I don't know where you got your information, Cub," Eagle spat, "but you are sorely mistaken."

I raised my hands in surrender, fully aware that an angry SAS soldier was a very dangerous SAS soldier. "Then why am I pinned up against a wall, Eagle?" I asked quietly.

He glared at me a moment longer before his eyes softened minutely and he yanked his hand away from my shirt. "Sorry," He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

I smoothed the grip print out of my shirt and forced a small, I'm-really-glad-you-didn't-just-break-my-bones grin onto my face. "Don't worry about it."

"It's just-" He paused, and then gave a small, pained sigh. "When I was twelve, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. They didn't give me enough to knock me out all the way, and I woke up about halfway through." He crossed his arms, fixing his gaze on the floor in front of him. "I've been terrified of oral surgeons, dentists, and the likes since then."

_Oh…_

I paused, slightly taken back by the fact that Eagle had just spilled his worst childhood experience without even a bit of prodding. "Well," I said finally, carefully choosing my words, "what are you going to do?"

Eagle snorted. Shaking his head, he bent down to retrieve his things from where he'd dropped them. "What do you mean 'what am I going to do?' There's nothing to do but go…man up…call my mum…" His voice had slowly gotten quieter until he was all but muttering to himself. The thought alone of going to the dentist had turned his face a rather pasty hue.

Well if that didn't just push me over the edge into a chasm of guilt. I mean, sure, they had been jerks, but seriously, the man looked like he was about to spew. "Maybe Snake has-"

"No!" He cut me off, whirling around to face me. "They can't know."

"What?"

"Cub, I'm SAS! We defend our country and represent all things manly! We're emotionless, war-fighting machines! SAS soldiers aren't scared of the dentist!" He took a deep breath, running his a hand through his damp hair.

_War-fighting machines. Right. _It seemed that Eagle also had a secret past in theatrics.

I tried to massage away the headache that was forming in my temples. "Look, Eagle," I said, "being scared of something isn't anything to be ashamed of. I mean, Wolf's afraid of flying! No one would dare call him a wimp because of that."

…Because the last guy who did found himself with several more elbows than when he was born with.

"He didn't exactly go broadcasting that, though, did he? The only reason we even found out was because you kicked his butt out of an airplane!"

"And I knocked your tooth out of your mouth; it's the same thing."

"No it's not! Besides, that's a completely rational fear."

"Oh? And being scared of someone sticking sharp, pointy instruments in your mouth isn't?"

"That's not the point!" Eagle threw up his hands, exasperated.

"It's not?"

"Cub, I am the youngest in K-Unit-" He paused, a small grin flickering across his face as he glanced at me. "You don't count, of course-"

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Of course not."

"-it's just, I've worked hard to prove myself to them and…and I want them to respect me." Eagle looked unsettlingly young at that moment, and I wondered briefly if he realized that that was how I felt every day I woke up in this God-forsaken camp. "Please, just don't tell them."

I studied him for a moment. This was serious; he'd even used the 'P' word. Finally I gave a small nod. "Alright, I won't."

He smiled a small, forced grin. "Thanks, Cub." After a brief of awkwardness where neither of us quite knew what to do next, he gathered his things and left without looking back.

As soon as I could no longer see his white t-shirt in darkness of the night, I sighed quietly and let my arms drop to my sides. "You can come out now, Wolf."

The bushes outside the doorway rustled and Wolf emerged, looking slightly disgruntled. "How'd you know I was there?"

"I could smell the cigarette smoke on your clothes," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. And I could hear his elephant feet coming from twenty yards away, but I did really think it was beneficial to my health to tell him that. Besides, this totally let me off the hook. "Well, I guess this solves the problem of not being able to tell you guys."

Wolf gave a small grunt, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His brow furrowed. He was undoubtedly thinking over what he had just heard while eavesdropping.

"So what are we going to do?"

He looked at me in surprise. "What makes you think we're going to do anything?"

_Really?_ I didn't think he took me for _that_ much of an idiot.

"Oh come on, Wolf. You know just as well as I do that you didn't follow me out here to make sure I didn't get into trouble. You knew something was up with Eagle."

There was a moment of silence before Wolf finally spoke, albeit begrudgingly. "Alright. The best I can figure is that we go with him."

I chuckled. _Good luck with that, Sparky. I'm sure your persuasion skills are excel-lante. _And then I realized he was serious. "How exactly are you going to get him to agree to that?"

A small grin crept its way across the soldier's face. He turned towards the door and headed out, calling casually over his shoulder, "You just leave that part to me."

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><p><em><strong>Thoughts?<strong>_

_**Oh, by the way, that totally happened to me when I got my wisdom teeth got taken out. I woke up briefly and could feel them scraping and pulling at the teeth. Awwwwwful. **_

_Albany: I'm glad you found it funny! Can you imagine Wolf dressed as the tooth-fairy (from hell)? Slightly scarring in my book… ;)_


	5. Conspiring? I Call It Bonding

As curious as I was about Wolf's methods, I did as he asked and let him work it out himself. He was put in that position for a reason, after all, and had probably, _hopefully_ had some sort of course in strategic planning. Which also meant that this situation had capability of turning into a full-blown, blacks-ops mission.

You could look at as training and team bonding if you really tried. Maybe squinted.

The next afternoon, whilst Eagle was running the obstacle course for a third time, Wolf gave Snake and Fox an outline of what happened the night before.

"I didn't know… he felt that way… about being the youngest," Fox managed to gasp out between sit-ups.

"None of us did," Snake said, not taking his eyes off the stopwatch in his hand. "Ten seconds left."

Wolf and Fox pushed themselves harder, faces twisting in determination, until Snake called the time. They collapsed back onto the ground, breathing heavily.

"Well, I think you should keep him thinking that you don't," I said, handing them their canteens. "He's obviously self-conscious about it, and would only hide it further if you confronted him about it."

"Cub's right," Wolf said, hauling himself to his feet and wiping his sweaty face on his sleeve.

Well _that_ was a first.

"So what do we do, then?" Fox asked.

Wolf shrugged, grabbing the stopwatch from Snake's hands. "I have an idea."

We stared at him, waiting for clarification.

Obviously, he didn't feel the need to.

"What?" he snapped when he saw us watching him. "I've got it covered. Just be ready to go into town on Saturday morning, alright?"

Fox and I exchanged glances; Snake smirked.

"You haven't thought of anything yet, have you?" I said.

Wolf flushed pink around his ears. "Shut up, Cub," he growled, giving me a small shove.

I massaged my shoulder indignantly, a wide grin that splitting my face. "I knew it."

"Just do your sit-ups, brat."

"Whatever you say, Wolf."

FGWIADOFGWIADOFGWIADO

The rest of the week passed relatively quickly and without incident. Well, I should say without _reported_ incident. There may have been one or two off-the-record scuffles behind the mess hall between my unit – sans Eagle – and a few instigators who had unwisely chosen to make some snide comment about our teammate's gapped smile within hearing range of one of the four of us.

Looking back, this is exactly what Blunt had wanted to happen. Ok, so it probably wasn't the scenario he had imagined, but it had the same results. I was slowly bonding – though I shudder at the use of that word – with my unit. Eagle had entrusted me, maybe a bit unwilling, with his phobia secret (which was sure one heck of a step further than we'd been before), and the other three and I had banded together in an effort to make this whole process as easy as we could for him.

Even if that meant we had slip in a few half-truths here and there.

It was Friday night; the official beginning of our weekend off, and Eagle had left the meal early – _again. _I know the man was trying to avoid letting anything slip either verbally or physically, but for as conspicuous as he was being, he might as well have had a glowing sign above his head that said 'Yes, something is wrong, but I'm too much of a man to say anything about it.'

When we piled back into the hut after a lively 'meeting' with a few guys from B-Unit, who had actually mixed the words 'Wolf' and 'tooth-fairy' in the same sentence and thought they would live to tell the tale, we found Eagle lying on his bunk with a dog-eared book resting on his chest.

"Where've you guys been? Mess closed like ten minutes ago," he said, eyeing our rag-tag little group with something akin to suspicion. Wolf opened him mouth to make some authoritative, snappish comment, but Eagle wasn't finished. "What the hell happened to your face, Fox?"

Ah, yes. He'd be talking about the bruise currently coloring Fox's rapidly swelling cheek. Apparently Fox had somehow missed Bear's ham-sized fist flying towards his face in the midst of the fight.

"Oh, that?" Snake said breezily, waving it off. "Let's just say that the O'Brian didn't like his cooking insulted."

There was a moment of silence, Eagle looking at him skeptically while the rest of us were trying to figure out where that bloody-awful lie had come from. It was out there floating around now, though, so our only choice was to run with it.

"Yeah, he was royally pissed," I said, grinning a bit and giving a small shake of my head. "Irish temper, I guess. Though I don't think it helped that it was his recently deceased grandmother's favorite recipe, either."

Eagle cocked an eyebrow. "Is that so?" I shrugged my shoulders, giving him my very best 'who-would've-guessed-it' look. He turned to Fox, who looked as if he had stuck a tennis ball in his cheek. "Since when do you complain about the food, Fox? Aren't you the one who's always telling us it could be worse?"

"Since I found one of his nasty little red hairs in my food, that's when!" Fox said, somehow still managing to look indignant despite only being able to use half his facial features. "There's a certain line that just shouldn't be crossed!"

I could see that Eagle was beginning to cave. He studied us a moment longer before letting a smirk make its way across his face. "Man, that's got to hurt, Fox. O'Brian has to be at least twenty pounds lighter than you."

Fox looked like he was about to protest, but Wolf cut him off with a chuckle and a friendly slap on the back. "Oh, don't worry, Eagle. He got in a few good shots before I pulled the little bugger off of him."

We chuckled, the three of us because we were relieved, and Eagle because he thought that Fox had just been served by the camp's middle-aged Irish cook.

"Oh very funny," Fox muttered, flopping down on his bunk. "Laugh it up, you prats." There was no anger in his voice, though, and I knew he didn't mind taking one for the team.

FGWIADOFGWIADOFGWIADO

The dreaded day arrived, as bright and sunshiny as your typical Disney movie.

Fortunately for us, Eagle was so immersed in the horror to come that there was no room for suspicion. He barely even blinked when we got up early enough to go eat breakfast with him instead of sleeping in.

"So when are you heading into town?" Wolf asked through a mouthful of eggs.

Eagle didn't look up from his plate. "Uh…my appointment is at uh…10:30," he said, picking at his bacon. "I'll probably leave in…forty five minutes…or so."

Wolf nodded and kept eating, while Fox and I exchanged glances. I would be lying if I didn't say that a part of me was nervous. We didn't even know the plan. We didn't even know if there _was_ a plan. We looked at Snake, who gave us a small shrug of his shoulders and bit into his toast.

Our silent, fairly awkward breakfast was interrupted a few minutes later when Wolf made an unsuccessful grab for the salt shaker, knocking over Eagle's glass of orange juice in the process.

Wolf swore, jumping up and out of the way before the juice landed in his lap. "Sorry, Eagle," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Let me go get some napkins. I'll get you some more juice while I'm at it."

"No, that's-" Eagle started to protest, but Wolf was already gone, empty glass in hand. He came back with a roll of paper towels, setting the now-full glass of juice back in front of Eagle before wiping up the mess.

By the time Wolf sat back down, Eagle seemed to have almost reached his breaking point. His face was starch-white and his hands shook as he raised the glass to his lips. He chugged down the OJ and got to his feet, breakfast nearly untouched. "I'll uh, see you guys later this afternoon," he said quickly. He grabbed his tray and split.

We all watched him leave - except for Wolf, who was intently peeling his apple with his pocketknife.

"Well that was…interesting," Snake said.

"You sure you have a plan?" I asked Wolf skeptically.

He cut a chunk from his apple, not even bothering to look up. "Always, Cub." He grinned. "Always."

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><p><em><strong>Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, as always!<strong>_

_Albany: Haha! Well, just don't mention that to Wolf, because as you see from this chapter, he doesn't take it kindly. It's a direct assault on his unbelievable manliness. ;)_


	6. Never Cross A Snake

_**Tank you, Tank you to all of you have been keeping up via reviews, favorites, and alerts so far. **_

_**Needless to say, this story is a looooooot longer than I thought it would be, but it's been a blast to write. **_

_**And finally, I have a dentist appointment today. Seriously. I plan to interrogate him on all things dentistry to make this as realistic as I can for you guys…or something like that.**_

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><p>That didn't necessarily mean it was a <em>good <em>plan. Snake certainly didn't think so after what we found when we got back to the hut.

We walked in to see Eagle passed out on his bed in his civilian clothes, one shoe half-way on one foot, the other on the floor.

Snake ran over to him and felt his pulse, then turned to us looking a mixture of shock and confusion. "He's asleep."

"What?" Fox asked, equally surprised.

I turned towards the silent man next to me, already putting the pieces together. "Wolf…"

He offered up a small grin, not even having the good grace to look a little abashed. "I might've crushed up a couple of sleeping pills and put them in his orange juice…"

Snake's face morphed into one of medical fury. In two large strides, he was next to Wolf, punching him hard in the arm. "You told me those were for you!"

Wolf growled and rubbed his injured appendage. "They were for me to use! …To give to Eagle."

I rubbed my hand over my face. I had always tried to reject the stereotype given to the SAS of brawns before brain, but this was…wow. "This is your idea, Wolf? Drug him?"

He threw up his hands as if he couldn't understand why we didn't like his brilliant plan. "What else were we supposed to do? Take him to counseling? Besides, this way he won't even remember a thing!"

"We can't take him like this!" Snake said, his voice raising a few pitches in disbelief. "Drugging someone is a crime, Wolf! Not to mention kidnapping!"

"Oh, would you shut up!" Wolf snapped. "It's only a crime if you get caught."

I really didn't know what to say; it was one of those things that seemed beyond the realm of words.

Was it a dumb idea? Abso-bloody-lutely.

Would Eagle be pissed? Without a doubt.

Would we get in trouble? More than likely.

But did we have any other options? Not at the moment.

It was settled then.

I walked over to where Eagle was sprawled, squatted down next to him, and finished putting on the man's trainers. I could feel the other three looking at me in shock. With a sigh, I stopped tying Eagle's shoe lace and turned around. "Look, yes this was not Wolf's brightest idea, but we don't exactly have another choice now, do we?" Fox and Snake looked at me skeptically, while Wolf looked torn between being offended and being glad for my support. "I mean, you're not really going to make him go through another week of torment waiting to go, are you?"

There was a pause before Fox grunted in compliance. "Cub's right. We should just get it over with for his sake."

I finished putting on the other shoe, and then stood up. "Alright; tell us what to do, Wolf."

Wolf looked from me, to Fox, to Snake (who still didn't look anywhere near convinced) and gave a firm nod of his head. "Ok. We'll need to change into civilian clothes, too. And then, Snake, you go get the keys for the jeep and start it up; Fox, you're with me carrying him; and Cub, you're lookout. You see the Sergeant or any of the Corporals, you whistle back to me and Fox."

Snake scowled as he took off his tan t-shirt and pulled a blue polo over his head. I couldn't really tell whether he was angry because Wolf had drugged Eagle, or because Wolf had lied to him to get the sleeping pills to drug Eagle. Wolf seemed to be ignoring the blistering heat from Snake's eyes on his back, although we all knew there would undoubtedly be some sort of retribution coming his way in the near future from the medic.

As Snake jammed his feet into his trainers, stuffed his ID in his back pocket, and stalked out the door towards the jeep, I made a mental note to never cross a Scotsman. Who's a medic in the SAS. Named Snake.

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><p><em><strong>You know what I'd like more than a gold star from my dentist? A review from you! <strong>_

_Albany: I agree! Adding teens to all SAS teams would help keep the soldiers on their toes – or at least help them develop patience… lol. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story thus far, and thanks for reviewing!_


	7. Whiddleberry?

_**Soooo, two days later. So sorry. Would you believe me if the I told you that the American Dental Association found out about my story? They weren't very happy, as you can imagine. It was a rather traumatic experience for me, even though I managed to escape with my life...**_

**_Yeah...just go with it. _**

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><p>It had been relatively hassle-free getting Eagle out of the camp.<p>

It was everyone's day off, after all, and so most people were still sleeping. Those who did happen to see Wolf and Fox carrying Eagle's lifeless body, completely with head lolling drunkenly from side to side, undoubtedly thought nothing of it. Men frequently got knocked out, winded, or just plain passed out from the rigorous and often hazardous training, so seeing a unit carrying a fellow team member somewhere wasn't exactly unusual.

The small town that we were headed to was about an hour and a half away, and seeing as none of us were exactly in a talking mood, that left us plenty of time for inner reflection. Or, in Snake's case, time to make up a list of things to chew Wolf out for. Apparently, it was quite long, given the way the frown on his face kept getting darker and darker.

"You know, I can't believe you, Wolf!"

_And here we go. _

Like a gathering storm finally splitting the sky open, Snake's fury was unleashed.

"He could have had a serious reaction to it if he'd never taken anything like that before-"

I groaned quietly, rubbing the bridge of my nose with my thumb. Fox was sitting on the other side, Eagle sprawled out in between us, staring out the window with a glazed look. And Wolf? Well, Wolf had his own little thundercloud brewing above his head. One that capability of raining down a whole lot of hurt

"-what would you have done if he had left early? He could've fallen asleep behind the wheel and-"

When Wolf developed a twitch in his left eye, I decided it was time to step in. I, for one, did not want to have to explain to the Sergeant that we had totaled one of the camp's jeeps because the two people in front had decided to get into a full-fledged, claws-out cat fight.

"Do we even know what dentist he's going to?" I asked much louder than necessary, completely throwing Snake off course.

The expectant silence that filled the jeep, paired with Wolf's hands tightening into a white-knuckled grip around the steering wheel, was enough of an answer for us all.

"Great," Fox muttered, rolling his eyes.

"The town has less than 7000 people," Wolf growled in protest. "How hard can it be to find the bloody dentist?"

"Right, let's just drive around for two and a half hours looking for it, and then when you decide that your ego has taken enough of a beating, we can stop at one of the local pubs and ask the good ole' boys there where the dentist is! I'm sure they _never_ miss their quarterly check up! Bloody brilliant idea, Wolf!"

Whoa, baby. Snake was more pissed than I thought. Perhaps we should invest a little more time into planning our misadventures next go around. I have a feeling it might reduce the chances of a spontaneous WWE Smackdown occurring between the team's two hot-headed members.

"Shut the hell up, Snake! I'll think of something, alright?" Wolf snapped.

"Yes, oh wise one," Snake retorted.

Fortunately for Wolf, and maybe for us all, he didn't have to tax his brain too hard. Fox used the skills he had acquired during his time as a spy and found a crinkled scrap of paper in Eagle's pocket with the address and appointment time.

At 10:20 AM, our little band of not-so-merry men spun into the parking lot next to small white building which, according to the sign, belonged to 'Whiddleberry Family Dentistry.' Wolf, of course, had to make some snide remark about the name, while Snake proceeded to point out that the people inside of 'Whiddleberry Family Dentistry' weren't going to be exactly willing to work on a patient who was stone-cold unconscious. This earned Wolf another glare, which he consciously ignored.

"Should we try waking him up?" Fox asked with a smidgen of desperation. At some point during Wolf's anger-induced erratic driving, a hard right turn had scooted Eagle closer to the man than he was comfortable with. So close, in fact, that Eagle's head was tipped against Fox's shoulder.

And from the angle he was at, Fox couldn't see the tiny string of drool trailing from the corner of the sleeping man's mouth onto the growing puddle on his shirt, either. He'd be feeling it soon enough, though, if I were betting man.

"We can try," Snake said, "though I don't know how coherent he'll be."

"Well, anything would look better than bringing him in slung over Wolf's shoulder like a sack of potatoes," I threw in helpfully.

As it turned out, though, waking someone who had just taken two, fairly-potent sleeping pills was harder than we thought. No amount of poking, pinching, pulling or prodding would get the man to open his eyes.

Wolf finally decided we weren't taking an aggressive enough approach, and went in with a slap to the face. Not a sissy slap, as you can imagine. Wolf only has so much patience.

Be that as it may, you can't argue with results. Before a red mark the approximate shape and size of Wolf's hand could fully form on Eagle's face, the man managed to pull open his eyes.

"Whuzzat?"

"Eagle? We're going to need you to get up, ok?" Snake was talking to him as if he were five-year old who's been hitting the warm milk a little too hard. "Can you do that for us?"

Eagle gave him a glazed look before letting his eyes slip closed again. "I'm sleeping, Snake. Go away." He buried his face deeper into the shoulder serving as his pillow, much to Fox's extreme horror.

Not exactly the right type of bonding there.

"Eagle?" I tapped him on the back. He growled and jerked away from my touch. "Eagle," I leaned in close to him and lowered my voice, "if you don't get up now, I'm going to tell them what you told me in the shower block Monday night." A completely useless threat, but he didn't know that. Drugs will do wonders to one's ability to reason.

"Cuuuuub!" It was the closest thing to whining that will ever be heard coming out of an SAS soldier's mouth. "You said you wouldn't!"

"Tough luck. Either you get up or the unit and I are going to have an extremely interesting conversation at lunch."

"You're a lying, son of a myopic Chihuahua," he muttered, pulling himself into sitting position.

I grinned. "That I am." I opened the door and hopped out, holding Eagle's arm as he struggled to free himself of the confines of the open-aired jeep. He shook my hand off as his feet hit the ground, but luckily Wolf and Fox were there to catch him before the rest of him could too.

"Are we ready?" Wolf asked, flinging one of the man's arms around his shoulders while Fox took the other.

"As ready as we'll ever be," Snake said with a sigh. "They're going to turn us away the second we walk through the door."

I had to agree. It was going to take a miracle for this to work at all.

Or maybe just some mighty fine acting skills.

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><p><strong><em>Guess what? No cavities! Help me celebrate my good oral hygiene by letting me know your thoughts!<em>**


	8. Shenanananananagins

_**We're winding down, people! Two or so more chapters to go. Thank you for all of you who have shown interest/support in this story. :) You're awesome.**_

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><p>I'm quite positive that, by her reaction, the receptionist at Whiddleberry Family Dentistry had never quite experienced anything like what had just come through her door.<p>

'Marie,' so her nametag said her name was, pressed her manicured fingers up against her mouth as the five of us walked – stumbled – in, not even trying to come up with a smile to welcome us with. She was so distracted by our little circus act, that she didn't even notice me as I approached the counter.

"Hi, my brother has an appointment with Dr. Whiddleberry." I offered her a smile, which quickly faded when she didn't look at me. In fact, I'm pretty sure she didn't even blink. One of her hands unconsciously crept up to twist a strand of her blond hair, and I rolled my eyes.

_Please, they're not even that good looking. _

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Her head jerked a bit, as if suddenly remembering what she was being paid for, and her gaze dropped to mine. I smiled at the pink flush in her cheeks. "My brother, Henry Stewart, has an appointment."

"Oh, right…" She began to click through the files on the computer in front of her, refusing to meet my eyes. The sound of a scuffle drew her gaze behind me again, and her forehead furrowed in concern. "Is he ok?"

I turned to where she was looking and did a mental facepalm.

Eagle seemed to have taken a liking to the magazine table in the middle of the room, undoubtedly because it was flat and the closest thing to a bed at the moment. He was fighting against Fox and Snake in an effort to reach it, giggling softly under his breath. Fox was quietly trying to coax Eagle into one of the comfy, red chairs lined up against the wall, while Snake was shooting daggers over his shoulder at an apparently unperturbed Wolf, who was leaning against the door frame with a small smirk on his face.

I sighed, closing my eyes for brief moment and offering up a prayer for patience, before turning back. Her hand had inched closer to the phone, fingers practically twitching to pick it up and call someone to hall our butts out of here. Apparently they weren't so cute anymore when they had the potential to cause property damage.

Time to pull out the inner thespian.

"I'm so sorry about this," I said, leaning in and lowering my voice apologetically. "We had to give him a Valium to help calm his nerves. He had a pretty traumatic experience at the dentist when he was little." I gave her a sad smile. "My brothers and I can usually work with him before he goes, but with his tooth being knocked out and his normal dentist being closed today…" I trailed off, shooting a concerned look at Eagle.

The man was finally slumped in a chair between Fox and Snake, and Wolf was still leaning against the door frame. The unit leader briefly caught my eye, sending me a look that promised much wailing and gnashing of teeth if I were to mess this up.

_Good ole', reliable, violent Wolf; the sunshine of my SAS experience._

"Oh, the poor dear," Marie breathed. I turned to see her hand moved away from the phone and onto her chest. "How did it happen?"

My little, evil inner Alex chuckled wickedly at the question. It really wasn't fair for her to set me up with a question that had so many tantalizing answers. I thought back to the look I had just received from my unit leader, and of the stupidity of his entire plan, and had to bite my lip to keep from grinning.

"Well, um…" I shifted nervously on my feet, lowering my eyes as if unsure of something. "Teo, my brother standing by the door over there, got mad at me for scratching his new car with my bike. He has a bit of a temper, and…" I shrugged guiltily, "…and Henry stepped in front of me and took the punch."

The girl gasped, eyes flashing in one part admiration for my hero and the other rage for my abuser. "So you're all siblings?"

"Yes ma'am; all adopted."

"And he was going to hit you?" She looked horrified.

"Well, we're brothers. We're allowed to beat on each other a bit, right?" She didn't look convinced. "And Henry socked him a good one in th' nuts afterwards, too," I added.

Her mouth lifted into a small smile. "Good," she gave a hard nod, "the big bully deserved it."

"Hear, hear," I murmured, winking at her.

She giggled quietly and handed me a clipboard with some papers attached to it. "I just need one of you to fill out this information on your brother, and then Dr. Whiddleberry can see him, alright?"

"Thank you, Marie," I said, giving her one last smile. She nodded and disappeared into the back to tell the doctor his patient was here.

"It took you long enough," Fox muttered as I came back to where they were sitting.

"Yeah," Wolf hissed, "we didn't come here so you could flirt with the receptionist, Cub."

I rolled my eyes. Typical. You get something done and all they do is harass you. "Listen here, you prats," I whispered harshly, "I'll have you know that while you were back here babysitting Droolie McGee, I was up there saving our butts. Marie was just about to call the cops on us."

"Marie, eh?" Wolf snorted. "You're already on a first name basis, then."

I resisted the urge to throttle him. Barely. "She's wearing a nametag, you moron." The man's eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to retort, but I cut him off. "Here Snake," I said, shoving the clipboard into the medic's hands. "You need to fill out Eagle's medical information."

Snake looked down at the clipboard, then at me. "But I don't know half of the stuff on here."

"So make it up," Fox volunteered.

Snake scowled. "That's illegal."

"Yeah, that seems to be the theme of the day," I said, settling down in the seat next to Fox.

"You guys have _no _respect for the medical system," Snake growled, clicking the pen and beginning to write.

For a long, five minutes, the only sound in the small office was the sound of pen against paper and Eagle's random mutterings to himself. Finally, with a sigh, Snake reviewed the papers in front of him before standing and returning the clipboard to the desk.

Two more minutes, and the door by the desk opened to reveal a short, red haired man with wire frame glasses. "Henry Stewart?" He asked, looking at each of us and waiting for his patient to stand.

Snake stood, grabbing Eagle's elbow and gently lifting him to his feet. "This is Henry here, Dr. Whiddleberry."

"Ah yes," the man adjusted his glasses. "Marie told me that you had given the young man something to help him with his nerves. No problem, no problem," he waved a hand and giving us no time to respond. "We have plenty of people who are uncomfortable at the dentist. Why don't you bring him back, young man, and we'll see what we can do for your brother."

"Oh, right…" Snake looked a bit confused, but helped the doctor lead Eagle into the back nonetheless.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Fox and Wolf's head snapped towards me.

"Brothers?" Fox asked incredulously. "They don't even look anything alike!'

"Pfft," I rolled my head back and rested it on the edge of the chair. "Of course not, Fox. We were adopted."

"Wait, you say 'we' as in…"

"Yes, Wolf," I smirked. "We are one big, _dysfunctional_ family."

"Like hell we are," he growled. "I would rather-" Marie walked back in and sat down in her chair behind the counter, forcing Wolf to change his track. "-give my left arm than see him go through something like this."

Marie overheard what he said and sent him a glare before starting to type in Eagle's recently acquired paperwork.

Over the next hour, Wolf was on the receiving end of many more of the woman's glares, much to his confusion and my twisted enjoyment.

It was after one particular icy scowl that he finally snapped. "Cub," he hissed, "why does she keep glaring at me?"

I shrugged, not bothering to look at him. "Dunno. Maybe it's your hair. It makes me pretty angry whenever I look at it, too."

Fox, who up until now had been feigning sleep, couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped his lips, and only laughed harder when Wolf punched him in the arm.

"I'm going to-"

Marie cleared her throat harshly, eyes drilling holes in Wolf's head with laser precision. The man sat there for a moment, jaw hanging agape, before he snapped it shut with and audible click. "You know what?" He said, getting to his feet, "screw this. I'm going to wait in the jeep."

The receptionist's gaze stayed on him until he stalked out the door. Only when she could no longer see him did she let a satisfied smile cross her face. Shooting a wink in my direction, she returned to her work.

"I don't know what kind of little shenanigan you just pulled there, Cub," Fox said, grinning, "but I'm never going to let him live it down."

I returned his smile. "I would have to hurt you if you did."

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><p><em><strong>Thoughts?<strong>_

**Kelalexshipper: I know, right? But that is what makes him *so* adorable. ;) **


	9. Who Knew Rage Could Be So Foxy?

**Holy Rusted Metal, Batman! What a response to my last chapter! I couldn't believe it! Thank you thank you! **

**I'm driving to IN tomorrow and will be there till Sunday, so I'm not positive when I'll update next, but you can be sure that it will be as soon as I can!**

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><p>The rest of the time in the waiting room went smoothly. Fox and I sat in our chairs, content to listen to Marie type away on her computer and reassured by the fact that we had yet to hear any screaming from the back.<p>

Two hours after we had initially arrived, Snake finally emerged from the back, holding a groggy Eagle up with the help of Dr. Whiddleberry. Fox jumped to his feet and went to take the other half of our teammate from the doctor; I stood up a little more slowly, suddenly plagued by a terrifying thought.

What if he had to come back again? What if this was only the first step in a long and complicated procedure to replace the missing tooth? The color drained from my cheeks. _I don't know if I can take another trip to the dentist with K-Unit. _

Snake must've have seen the way my face paled, because he offered me a reassuring grin and a quick thumbs up.

_Oh, thank God! _I started to breathe again and let a relieved smile slide across my face.

"Young Henry here will be fine!" Dr. Whiddleberry announced jovially, adjusting the wire rims on his nose. "We put a bridge* in and he looks as good as new, don't you ole' chap?" He clapped Eagle on the back; Eagle gave a small giggle in return.

"Well great!" I said, edging towards the door. "If there's nothing else you need-"

"Just a credit card to bill, and you'll be good," the man cut in, answering my unfinished question.

I froze. _Oh crap. _

Turning to my two conscious teammates, I saw they had the same deer-in-headlights look as I did.

_Ohcrapohcrapohcrap. _

Wolf, the little turd, had gone off to sulk in the jeep like a three year old and left us to clean up the carnage left behind by his idiotic plan.

I ground my teeth and did the only thing I knew todo.

"Yeah, uh…Ben?" Fox jerked in surprise, his eyes then narrowing as he realized what I was implying. "You got this, right?"

His eye twitched. "Sure, _Alex_," he gritted out. Fox let go of Eagle, ignoring the grunt Snake let out as he was suddenly burdened with the whole weight of the unconscious man, and yanked his wallet out of his back pocket. As Marie swiped it through the machine, he shot me another murderous look.

I offered him a weak grin, making a metal note to stay out of his general vicinity for the rest of my stay at Becon Breacons. Possibly much, _much_ longer.

"You all have a good day, now!" Marie and the doctor waved cheerfully as we left.

Eagle, completely oblivious to the black cloud of doom and despair that had enveloped us, was the only one to wave back.

"Where are we going, guys?" Eagle asked as we dragged down the sidewalk and out toward the jeep. He had ridiculous smile spread across his face and was practically bouncing along in-between Snake and Fox.

"Back to camp," Snake replied shortly.

Eagle came to a screeching halt, smile melting into a frown. "But, I-I didn't get a balloon."

There was a beat of silence while we tried to determine whether the man was being serious. He was. His eyes widened until they reached puppy dog status – a look that was decidedly creepy on an SAS soldier – and he jutted out his lower lip in a pout.

Fox wasn't having any of it. "Tough luck," he growled, giving the man's arm a firm tug.

Eagle yelped and stumbled forward, before digging his heels into the ground. "No!" The scowl on his face became more prominent. "I'm not going without my balloon!"

"Eagle…" Fox lowered his voice threateningly.

"No!"

"Eagle!"

"I want my balloon!"

Fox's face was contorted in fury. "Just get him into the jeep, Snake," he hissed. "If we're lucky, Wolf will get so annoyed he'll throttle him."

"No! Noooo!" Eagle yelled as they proceeded to drag him through the parking lot to where Wolf had started the jeep and was waiting for us. Actually, 'waiting' wasn't the right word. It was more like Wolf was staring through the window at us as if we were peons infected with the Black Plague preparing to lay siege to his castle.

To make matters infinitely worse, people had begun to notice. With the door to the café across the street open, the patrons were looking out to find the source of the commotion. Let's not forget the mom and her two children, the teen on a bike, and the businessman talking on his cellphone, either, who had all stopped to watch two grown men wrestle a third into a car.

It was like something out of a nightmare.

I literally wanted to pull my t-shirt over my face and melt into the ground.

Taking no notice of the scene they were causing, Snake opened the door, and pushed Eagle in. The man was still yelling as I hopped in the front next to Wolf, as they wrestled him into his seatbelt, and as we peeled out of the parking lot.

"EAGLE! SHUT YOUR FACE!" Wolf finally roared once we had reached the small highway on the outskirts of the town.

Eagle snapped his mouth shut, falling back into the seat and staring at nothing with glassy eyes. The sudden silence in the car was deafening.

_Oh my word. Oh. My. Word. Oh my word. _The phrase kept repeating itself in my head. There were no adjectives in the English language that could describe what just happened. It was so ludicrous that I found myself tipping over the edge into hysteria.

"What's so funny, Cub," Fox snapped as the giggles spilled from between my lips.

"Y-Your face," I managed to choke out. "You should've s-seen your face. You looked so pissed!"

A noise eerily close to feral dog growl rumbled in Fox's throat, but Snake cut him off before he could lunge for my neck. "I agree with Cub. I don't think I've ever seen you that mad, Fox. I thought for sure you were going to give yourself a hernia." He sounded so serious when he said it that everyone paused…and then Snake and I burst into peals of laughter.

Fox was not amused.

"What's wrong, Fox?" Wolf smirked at the scowling man in the rear-view mirror. "Eagle too much for you to handle?"

"Tch. Says the man cowed by the receptionist!"

"I was _not_ cowed!"

"Oh, that's right; I forgot. That waiting room was just too small for your big, bad self and your ego to fit in there at the same time."

"No, I just couldn't stand looking at that gruesome thing you call a face anymore."

"That's it!" Fox roared. He lunged at Wolf through the seats, clipping the man on the jaw with his fist.

Wolf shouted in surprise, hands leaving the wheel to grab Fox's arm and pull him forward so his head slammed against the back of the headrest. The two were soon a flurry of animalistic growls and swinging arms, while Snake crawled over a now-snoozing Eagle in an attempt to tear them apart.

I being the more mature one, however, was more concerned by the fact that the jeep was veering off the edge of the road and towards a very large, very solid-looking tree.

"WOLF!" The shriek that exited my mouth was a lot less manly than I had intended it to be, but then again, I wasn't the one having a school-yard brawl in a moving vehicle.

Diving through the flailing sea of limbs, I managed to hook the steering wheel with my finger while taking a fist to the side of my head. I gave the wheel a hard yank, and the jeep jerked just out of the way of the tree and back onto the road, slamming everybody back into reality.

I sank back into my seat, covering my throbbing head with my hands._ Worst. Bonding time. Ever. _

The jeep had fallen silent again except for Wolf and Fox's desperate attempts to regain their breath and Eagle's quiet snoring.

"Let's just forget that ever happened," Snake quietly suggested after a moment.

With a small shake of my head, I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

Ill-timed laughs were going to be the death of me.

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><p><strong>:) Review?<strong>

**Special shout out goes to My Opium for mentioning a pink rabbit balloon in their review, thus prompting part of this chapter!**

* Dental bridges literally bridge the gap created by one or more missing teeth.

A bridge is made up of two crowns for the teeth on either side of the gap – these two anchoring teeth are called abutment teeth – and a false tooth/teeth in between. These false teeth are called pontics and can be made from gold, alloys, porcelain, or a combination of these materials. Dental bridges are supported by natural teeth or implants. (Web M.D.)

_**HG: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Laughter is good for your abs, you know – especially when you're trying to hold it in. You'll have a six-pack in no time! ;)**_

_**TooLazyToLogin: Woohoo! Glad you loved it! And if you ask me, Wolf totally had it coming to him. :P**_


	10. Tiny Tim vs The Fox

**And I'm back! My apologies for the delay. You all have been so awesome! Thanks so much!**

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><p>"I just think it's so weird that I can't remember anything."<p>

I rolled my eyes and stuffed half of my roll in my mouth to keep from saying something sarcastic. Eagle had been repeating the same thing over and over again since he'd woken up two hours ago. Maybe it was from complete relief that he got through it alive and was no more traumatized than he was before, but it was bloody annoying.

The story that the four of us had decided on before we got back to camp was that Eagle had come back from the dentist, had said it went well, and then went to go take a nap, which we were hoping would be enough to explain why he woke up in his bed with no memory of how he got there.

Forty-five minutes after we had carried him from the jeep to the hut and tucked him in, he had woken up in a complete state of confusion. We had all managed to play it off fairly well, acting only vaguely curious as to how the dentist appointment went and not too concerned that he couldn't seem to remember anything.

Eagle wasn't going to let it go without some sort of explanation, though. It wasn't that he was expecting us to give him one; I think he was just trying to figure out how it happened so that when the time came for him to go again, he could somehow achieve the same state of temporary amnesia.

"I mean, don't you think that's weird, Fox? That half of my day would be nothing more than a big hole in my memory?"

Fox jerked in surprise at being called out. Up until now, we had all been giving half-hearted answers and grunts of acknowledgement to Eagle's musings, knowing that the less that was said on the subject, the less chance there'd be of something slipping.

_At least Fox had spent some time as an MI6 agent. That should mean that he's better at lying on the spot, right?_

"Uh, yeah," Fox said slowly, lowering the spoon that had been en route to his mouth. "You know, they probably gave you some medicine to help you relax or something, and that might've caused you to be a bit out of it…or something."

I rolled my eyes at my plate of food. _Or not. _

Eagle didn't look convinced, either.

"Isn't that right, Snake?" Fox asked, shooting the man a glance that clearly asked for some backup.

"Oh, sure…yeah… I mean, you never know how a person will react to a medicine they've never had before."

The sentence was emphasized by a sharp kick to my shin, and I gave a small yip of pain before I could stop it. I looked up to see three of my unit giving me a strange look, while Snake looked a bit guilty. He mouthed an apology to me, and I felt his foot brush past me as he tried again. Wolf let out a low growl as the kick hit its intended target.

"Are you guys alright?" Eagle asked, his eyes roaming questioningly over each of us. "You've been acting a bit strange the little time I've seen you today."

"Oh, we're fine," I said, wiping my face on a napkin – partly to hide the smile that had formed on the edges of my mouth. "Wolf's just been in a mood all day, and you know, of course, that if Wolf isn't happy, nobody's happy."

Wolf rammed his elbow into my side, and I gave a little grunt in pain. "Shut up, Cub. You're just mad because we all heard you scream like a little girl today."

_Crap. I thought they had been too busy to hear that. _I narrowed my eyes at the smug look on his face. _Well two can play that game. _

"That's because you and Fox were being a pair of bleedin' idiots, isn't it?" I snapped back. "I'm surprised you didn't start pulling each other's hair with the cat fight you two were in!"

"Hey!" Fox protested, "maybe I wouldn't have been in such a bad mood if you hadn't taken all my money!"

Snake, ever the peace-maker, tried to step in and bring the conversation back to a more healthy, non-aneurism inducing level. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad, Fox."

"Four-hundred pounds!"

Snake and I cringed. That _was_ a pretty hefty bill to get stuck with.

"Sucks to be you," Wolf said, apparently not sharing the same sentiments.

Fox's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, well it's about to suck to be you," he growled. "Why don't we take this outside and I'll punch that smirk right off your meaty face!"

"Oh really? Like you could take me!"

"You just don't want to test your luck!"

"I'm not afraid of you, you spook."

"Then what are we waiting for, Tiny Tim?"

"I have to call the coroner first, so they'll have a body bag ready when they come to pick you up."

Eagle, Snake and I watched the exchange, heads turning back and forth like we were watching a tennis match. I had never seen Fox this mad before and had to admit that he was pretty scary.

I think the day's events had been just the right mixture of stress, ill planning, and ridiculousness to push Wolf and Fox over the edge. Well, Wolf actually never needed much pushing. But Fox; Fox had gotten the short end of the stick several times today and he'd finally snapped.

By the time someone finally stepped in, both men were out of their seats, leaning across the table, and yelling in each other's faces. Snake and Eagle managed to wrestle them back into their seats, all while sending glares around the mess hall that clearly told everyone to mind their own business.

"Look," Eagle said once the yelling had stopped, "I don't know what sort of weird version of strip-poker you guys were playing today, but it's obvious there's still some things you need to work out between yourselves. It's just a game, guys, and violence is never the answer."

The silence that followed was deafening.

"Strip…poker…?" Wolf grated out.

"Yeah," Eagle looked at us, a bit confused by the reaction. "I mean, it's obvious that Cub totally cleaned house. He screamed like a girl because he was undoubtedly scarred for life by what he saw, and Wolf is pissed because his ego is hurt and Fox is mad because he lost so much money. Am I right?" He grinned widely.

Silence.

"Oh my…" I had no words to describe the horrified looks on my teammates' faces.

And then it was suddenly as if a bubble had burst as Wolf collapsed in laughter, followed by Snake, and then Fox, and then me. Those around the mess hall who had been staring at us earlier waiting for the impending fight, were now watching us warily as if we'd lost our minds.

"Guys?" Eagle's grin had slowly melted into a confused frown.

"Y-You thought…that w-we were…th-that we had…" Fox managed to wheeze out before dissolving into laughter again.

We kept laughing, despite Eagle's protests. That is until I saw a torso stop at the end of our table from where I was doubled over it in laugher. Immediately straightening, I saw a corporal looking down at us with a look of disgust.

"Gentlemen," the corporal said crisply. The laughing ceased instantaneously, and four heads snapped towards the speaker. "When you are done with your little giggle-fest, the sergeant would like to see you in his office."

"Yes, sir," Wolf said, all traces of humor having completely disappeared from his face.

The corporal stared at us a moment longer before turning on his heels and stalking off.

"Huh, wonder what that's about," Eagle said, picking up his tray.

The four of us followed his lead, but not before exchanging glances. I saw the same sentiment I was feeling reflected in their eyes.

_Oh craaaap._

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><p><strong>Thoughts? : )<strong>

_Laland: awe, awesome! Thanks so much for reading and leaving a review! I'm glad you enjoy it!_

_Albany: Well, I'm honored that you like my story despite not caring for comedies that much! That means a lot. : ) And yes, I think they've all gone a bit crazy in this story…lol!_


	11. And Now They Sort Of Know

**Ok, so I lied; there are a few more chapters than I thought there would be. You all are ok with that, right? ;)**

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><p>We entered the Sergeant's office all feeling rather subdued. Well, all of us except for Eagle. That was to be expected, though. Even if he did know about what we did, he wouldn't need to be worried. He hadn't exactly asked to be drugged, now had he?<p>

The Sergeant was sitting at his desk when we entered, cradling a small shot glass of brandy in one hand and reading from a paper in the other. He didn't acknowledge us immediately, no doubt leaving us to wallow in our terror. Finally, he took a sip from the glass in hand before setting it down, then lowering the paper so he could see us over it.

"Gentlemen," he said, "how was your day off?"

My stomach twisted. _He knows. He definitely knows. _

Wolf shifted the weight on his feet. "It was good, sir. Eagle went to the dentist and had his tooth replaced."

"Very good." The sergeant nodded and got to his feet. "Very good." He glanced one more time at the paper before setting it down on his desk. "I called your unit to my office because I have some information that I thought you might find interesting." He watched us, waiting for a response, and then continued on when he didn't get one. "You see, the police in a small town about an hour and a half from here received several reports of a kidnapping that occurred this afternoon."

"A kidnapping, sir?"

"Yes, Wolf, a kidnapping." The sergeant perched himself on the front edge of his desk, a strange gleam in his eye. "Apparently it was a very ballsy one, too. The man was taken in broad daylight, during lunch hour, on one of the busiest streets in the town." A razor sharp smile spread across his face. "And fortunately for us, there were quite a few people who were able to give detailed descriptions of the kidnappers."

_We are so dead. _

"But what does this have to do with us, sir?" Eagle asked, the only one out of the six of us who was confused.

I groaned silently. _Shut up, Eagle!_

The sergeant raised a brow, and then picked up the paper he'd been reading earlier. "Witnesses claim that there were four kidnappers. The one driving the getaway car was described as stocky, with tan skin and dark hair; the two who grabbed the man were described as tall and lean, one with blonde hair, the other with dark brown hair and a Liverpudlian accent; and the last one was the one the police found most unusual. The lookout was said to be a teenage boy around the ages of 15 or 16, medium height with blonde hair."

There was silence. I saw Fox's adam's apple bob as he swallowed nervously, and a thin sheen of sweat was now covering Wolf's upper lip.

Eagle looked even more confused than before. "That almost sounds like you guys," he laughed nervously.

The sergeant cocked an eyebrow and then continued reading. "Witnesses say that the victim was dragged from Whiddleberry Family Dentistry by the two men and forced into the waiting jeep, which then sped off towards the highway. When police interviewed the receptionist inside the office, she said that the four men had claimed they were all brothers of the patient, a Mr. Henry Stewart, and had given the man something to calm his nerves. Police now believe that it's possible this was not a kidnapping at all, but would still like to bring the four men in for questioning." The sergeant put the paper back on his desk before looking back up at us. "Well, gentlemen?"

I risked a glance at Eagle, who had suddenly gone very pale. His lips were parted in pure shock. "That was you guys!" he suddenly exclaimed. He whirled towards Wolf. "Why the hell did you guys kidnap me? …And why can't I remember it?"

The sergeant sat back down behind his desk, any and all traces of a smile gone from his face. "That's something I'd like to hear the answer to as well."

I met Wolf's gaze and saw how panicked he was. This was his career; this is what he loved to do, and he could lose it all within the next few minutes.

"Well, sir…I, uh…" Wolf was searching for the right words.

Closing my eyes briefly, I steeled myself for what I was about to do and the wrath to come. "What he means, sir," I said, opening my eyes again, "is that it's my fault."

From the corner of my eye I could see the incredulous looks that Fox, Snake, and Wolf were sending me and how Eagle's eyes narrowed in anger. I knew where his train of thought was going; that I had betrayed his confidence and then come up with this crazy plan to 'help' him. It would all have to wait to be explained later, though.

"Is that so, Cub?" The sergeant's steely eyes were now focused solely on me.

Wolf was opening his mouth to say something – probably to deny it – but I beat him to it. "Yes sir, it is." I turned to my unit leader, who was staring at me with confusion and anger. "It's alright, Wolf," I said, giving him a clear message to 'let me handle this' with my eyes, "you don't have to cover for me." Wolf's mouth snapped shut with an audible click, and he looked like he would come over and smack some sense into me if Snake's hand wasn't discreetly holding him back.

"So, would you care to explain why you have my men running around and creating a spectacle of themselves by kidnapping their own teammate?"

I smirked a little to myself as I turned back to the sergeant. We all knew that wasn't a question; we weren't supposed to think of it as a question. It was an order, and people like me are trained to obey orders.

If it had been Blunt 'asking', I would have rolled my eyes and layered on the sarcasm; but I wouldn't do that here. I would the Sergeant's eyes and answer with as much truth as I could, because that's the difference having respect for someone makes.

"Because of the events of the past two years, sir, I find it difficult to trust people," I said quietly. "MI6 requested that I bond with K-Unit while I'm at Becon Breacons, as they're to become my official backup team." I took a breath to steady myself, my mind already racing miles ahead, planning what I was going to say. "Getting to know them and how they operate is one thing, but I needed to be sure that I could rely on them in the field. If I ever got hurt, would they be able to think on their feet and use believable cover stories to transfer me out of a hot zone? Could they hold themselves together as a team under stress? It's one thing to know the theory and practice these things at camp, but putting them into action in the real world when you have no time to prepare for it is something else entirely.

"When Eagle had to go to the dentist, the opportunity arose to put all of that to the test. With Eagle doped out on sleeping meds, they suddenly had to be responsible for getting him there and coming up with a believable enough story to get him seen."

I never dropped my eyes from the sergeant's. He was studying me, not a flicker of emotion playing across his weathered face. "And how did they do?" he asked finally.

It was the last question I had been expecting. "Sir?"

"How do you think they did on your little test? Do you trust them enough now to be your backup unit?"

All eyes in the room were on me. It was obvious that K-Unit was interested to learn my opinion of the operation today, despite how they were trying to hide it.

"They did well, sir," I said, allowing a small smile to slide across my face. "They obviously need to work on their subtlety a bit, but they get the job done. I don't think there could be a better unit for backup, sir."

The man seemed satisfied, if not a bit pleased, with my answer. "Very well, then." He took the police report he'd been reading from and put it in the trash. "As necessary as you felt your actions were, Cub, you still drugged a fellow teammate. The SAS will also have to resolve the arrest warrants out for the four of you, which will take time and resources. As such, the entirety of K-Unit, excluding Eagle, will have ten miles tacked on to your morning run for the remainder of your stay. Cub, you'll also be assigned to latrine duty, and Alan Blunt will be receiving a letter from me regarding your actions today."

_Pfft. What's he going to do? Send me on a mission? Not like that's never happened before. _

"Am I clear, gentlemen?"

"Yes sir!"

"Good. Now get out of my office."

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><p><strong>Erm, yeah. One more chapter and an epilogue. Review?<strong>

_**Albany: I hope this chapter answers your question about why they were in the office! And yes, I think Eagle is pretty lucky that he didn't remember anything, the poor guy. Thanks for reviewing!**_


	12. Birds of a Feather Freak Out Together

**And we've reached the end, my dear, amazing readers…well, except for the epilogue. I can't thank you all enough for the support you've shown me. Seriously. You guys are amazing.**

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><p>The walk back to the hut was awkward. We all didn't quite know what to say, because, well, no one quite knew what anyone else was thinking.<p>

It was Eagle who finally broke the silence as we reached the door.

"I can't believe you would drug me, Cub," he said, turning on me. "How am I supposed to trust you when you go and do something like that?"

"Eagle-" I started, but Wolf cut me off.

"It wasn't Cub who gave you the sleeping pills, Eagle; it was me. I put them in your juice this morning."

Eagle looked from me, to Wolf, and threw his hands up in exasperation. "Would someone please just tell me what the hell happened today? Because it seems like no one is giving me a straight answer!"

"Look," Snake said calmly, "we just wanted to help you out, ok? Everyone has something that freaks them out a bit, and it's easier to go through it when you've got others with you."

Snake, no matter how encouraging and pacifying he was trying to be, had just signed my death warrant. I could see it in Eagle's eyes as he took in that information. The way he turned towards me was absolutely animalistic, shoulders and calves tensed and ready to spring.

_Maybe I should try playing dead…_ I swallowed nervously. _Or maybe now would be a good time to explain everything before the raging SAS soldier puts you in a coma. _

"Eagle, listen to me…" I said, raising my hands and slowly backing away from him.

He advanced on me, matching my pace step for step. "You little, backstabbing, son of a-" The last word was lost in the growls that tumbled from his mouth as he sprang at me and knocked us both to the ground. The breath was forced from my lungs as I slammed against the wooden floorboards, Eagle sitting on my chest. "I'm going to murder you, Cub!" he spat.

I could hear shouting in the background, but what was being said was drowned out by the blood pounding in my ears as Eagle raised his fist and prepared to bring it down on my unprotected face.

And then he was gone, dragged off of me and to the other side of the hut by Wolf and Fox, while Snake offered me a hand up.

That didn't stop Eagle from yelling obscenities in my direction, though, as he continually tried to free himself from his teammates' restraining grips.

"Are you alright, Cub?"

I pulled my gaze away from the three across the room from me to see Snake staring down at me with concern. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said quietly.

Though that wasn't quite true.

I could still feel the adrenaline pounding through my veins, making my heart race and my palms sweat. And what I had just seen from Eagle? Well, that…that was unnerving.

It wasn't completely his fault, though. The man had been a volatile cocktail just waiting to erupt since the fateful fight on Monday morning. Not only was he emotionally drained from having to deal for an entire week with the thought of facing his worst fear, but he also had the stress of trying to keep it a secret. Add to that the remnants of the drug that was still floating around his system and the confusion of what had happened to him today, and it was no wonder he had exploded like he did.

But it wasn't something I _ever_ wanted to see again.

"-just calm down; calm down!" Fox was trying to reason with the man, but to no avail.

"I'm going to kill him! He's dead! You're dead, Cub! I can't believe-"

Wolf had had enough. "EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!" he roared.

The room fell silent.

"Now," he growled, crossing his arms. "We're going to handle this like adults. The next person who throws a punch will get beat into next week, you understand?" No one responded, but that didn't seem to bother him. "First, are you ok, Cub?" he asked, looking at me.

I was stunned into silence. That was the second K-Unit member that had asked me that within the span of a minute. And Wolf had been one of them. That was just weird. Apparently having lost my skills of verbal communication for the moment, I settled with giving him a curt nod.

"Right. Eagle," he turned to the man, who was still glaring at me, "we need to get some things straight, here."

"Whatever," Eagle growled, shaking off Fox's hand. "You just keep him," he jabbed his finger in my direction, "away from me."

"No problem," I mumbled, following Snake as he shuffled over to sit on Fox's bed.

When we had all assembled in a rough circle – Snake and I sitting on one bed, Fox and Eagle on the one across from us, and Wolf leaning against the wall between the two – Wolf began the arduous task of rebuilding his unit to the point where we wouldn't have to worry about sleeping with one eye open.

"Eagle," he sighed, "Cub didn't tell us about your phobia. I followed him after he left the hut to look for you and overheard you two talking. It was my decision to tell the other two."

Eagle's eyes widened, betrayal flickering across his face. "Why would you do that?"

"Because you're a member of this unit," Wolf replied without missing a beat.

"And they need to know any weakness that can affect our missions, is that?" Eagle spat.

"No, that's not it," Wolf snapped back. "I told them so we could help you. I don't know where you've gotten this notion that being scared of something makes you weak, Eagle, but it's way off base. Only a moron is fearless, and only a weak man refuses to admit he's afraid. And you're neither of those."

_Wow._ Fox and I discreetly exchanged surprised looks. Despite the gruffness and at occasional attitude, it was obvious that the SAS had chosen well when they picked Wolf to be a unit leader.

Eagle was staring at the floor, jaw clenched. When he didn't get a response from the man, Wolf decided to push his argument even further.

"The part that disappointed me most, though, Eagle, was the fact that you thought we would judge you because of it. You should know us better than that by now."

There was a moment of silence before Snake chimed in. "He's right, mate. I could've just given you something to help you relax. It would've gone a helluva lot smoother than Wolf's idiotic plan."

Fox snorted. "That's for sure."

Wolf growled, but there was no anger behind it, ""Hey now, tou two were the ones who couldn't even kidnap someone right!"

"We were in broad daylight!"

"Yeah! And the man wouldn't be denied his balloon!"

I ignored their bantering, focusing on Eagle instead, who was still looking at his shoes. Then, as if he could feel me watching him, he lifted his head and met my eyes. There was no denying the guilt in them.

We'd all messed up at some point today. If we didn't make it better now, the rest of our time here was going to be hell…err, even more. Someone had to make the first step, and it might as well be me. I gave Eagle a nod of my head and a small smile, which he slowly returned after a moment. It was a mutual understanding of forgiveness with no room for grudges or bitterness.

Encouraged, Eagle then straightened up and cleared his throat, bringing the current conversation to a halt. "Uh, guys, I uh…I just wanted to say that I messed up on this one. Bad. I'm sorry for not telling you myself, and, uh, I really appreciate your help." He smiled nervously at them, waiting for a response.

"Well," Wolf grunted finally, "putting sleeping pills in your drink probably wasn't the best idea I've had. I'm sorry for drugging you, Eagle. It was a dumb thing to do." Snake cleared his throat, and Wolf sighed. "And I'm sorry for lying to you to get the sleeping pills, Snake."

The medic nodded, appeased. "If you ever do that again, though, Wolf, I assure you that any and all future pain medication will mysteriously turn into water pills."

_Och, that's harsh_, I thought as Wolf paled considerably. _He must have a knack for getting hurt_.

"Hey Wolf," Fox piped up, looking slightly chagrined, "I'm sorry for, you know…"

"Forget about," Wolf said gruffly, "we were both wrong."

I rolled my eyes. As nice as this was, it was bordering mushy, which was just awkward in a group of military men. It was high time to change the direction of the conversation before we all started spilling our guts to each other. I shuddered at the mere thought of it.

"Well, as long as we're all apologizing…" I said, drawing the group's focus to me.

"You're sorry you made me pay Eagle's bill?" Fox asked.

I shook my head slowly. "No. Wolf, I'm sorry I told the receptionist that you knocked Eagle's tooth out on accident when he stepped in front of the punch you were aiming at me."

Silence.

"You what?" Wolf finally gritted out.

"Well, I accidentally scratched the paint on your new car, right? And when you went to punch me, Eagle took it instead. Of course, he got you good in the nuts after that." They all looked rather confused, so I elaborated. "I had to play the sympathy card if we were going to get in, guys. By making Wolf out to be the bully, and Eagle the hero, she was much more likely to ignore the fact that he was drooling all over himself and let the doctor see him."

"So that's why…" Fox burst out laughing, "that's why she kept glaring at you Wolf!" he said between gasps. "She thought you were abusing your poor, adorable little brother!"

"You're such a brat, Cub," Wolf said, though there was a smile creeping at the corners of his mouth.

"So you've told me," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Hey guys, was her name Marie?" Eagle asked. He was looking strangely at a small scrap of paper in his hands.

I frowned "How did you know?"

"Well, I found this in my pocket when I woke-" Fox snatched the paper from his hand, not giving the man any time to finish.

Fox grinned as he read it. "Ooooh, Eagle! Charming the ladies even when unconscious!"

"What? No way!" Snake got up to look at it, and then shook his head. "Eagle, you dog, you!"

"But I didn't even talk to her!" Eagle protested.

"I'll be your toothfairy anytime, Henry!" Fox squealed in an eerily feminine voice.

"You guys are just jealous."

"Psh," Wolf snorted, "with the glare that chic has, she'll have you whipped in no time."

"Maybe she doesn't like bullies."

I grinned and quietly got up to grab my shower stuff, satisfied that things were back to 'K-Unit normal.' No one was having an emotional breakdown, trying to kill each other, or doped out on sleeping pills. I'd experience quite enough of all of that for one trip to Hell.

"So are you going to call her?"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out."

"Come on, Eagle! Don't leave us hanging!"

"I don't even know what she looks like!"

I was so absorbed in Fox and Snake trying to wheedle Eagle's intentions out of him, that I didn't notice Wolf standing by the door…until I ran right into him. "Whoa, sorry…" I made an attempt to go around him, but he grabbed my arm.

"Cub…" I blinked up at him, surprised by his tone. It almost sounded…embarrassed. "Look, what you did today in the Sergeant's office…"

"Don't worry about it," I gave him a small grin, "I figure I still owed you for those three bullets you took for me last year."

"I suppose you did…" he said quietly. I wasn't quite sure what was going on in his head, or why he was peering at me so intently, but after a few awkward moments I decided I'd had enough.

"So, are you going to let my arm go, or did you just really want to come to the showers with me?"

The man seemed to snap out of what ever funky trance he was in, and instantly dropped my arm like it was a hot poker. "Get out of here, Cub," he growled, giving me a firm shove out of the room.

"Are you sure?" I called back over my shoulder.

Wolf slammed the door in my face.

_Yep. _I chuckled as I went down the steps. _Things are definitely back to normal._

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><p><strong>And there is your full-fledged Eagle freak out, which you all were waiting for so patiently. I'm pretty proud of it myself, but, of course, I want to know what you thought of it. : )<strong>

_**Ragold – I know! I'm sorry. Here's your update, though! :D Hope you enjoy and thanks for reviewing!**_

_**Albany - I know, Alex has learned the art of manipulation well from MI6, no? Thanks for reviewing!**_

_**How Awkward - Isn't he, though? That was a total 'awwwwwwww' moment. Thanks for reviewing!**_


	13. Epilogue

**I'm so sorry for the delay of this epilogue. On Sunday I was packing for college, on Monday I was moving in, and today was the first day of classes. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the support you've given to me for this story. :)**

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><p><em>2 Years Later<em>

"Sutherland! Let's go!" Teo Alvarez barked, his voice echoing throughout the baggage claim area in Heathrow Airport. Sutherland ignored him, his head bobbing up and down as he talked animatedly with the pretty brunette the medic had been sitting next to on the plane. Alvarez rolled his eyes. "Now, Sutherland!" The only sign that the fair-haired Scotsman even heard his unit leader over the general hub-bub was the hand he discreetly lifted behind his back to give a single-fingered response.

Alvarez growled and took a step forward with the full intent of dragging his teammate away from the pretty, little bimbo, but Ben's restraining hand held him back. "Just give him a minute, Teo. We've got plenty of time to get to the Bank."

"Besides," Henry said, shouldering his pack, "it's about time Mac got back in the dating scene. He's been moping around enough about that other chic for long enough."

"I don't even see why; she was a complete ditz," Ben said. "He told me that when he finally told her he worked for the Secret Air Service, she asked if that meant he could fly her and her friends to Barbados for free."

Alvarez snorted. "Sounds like a real winner; though this one doesn't look much better." He glared at the back of Sutherland's head.

Henry tsked, shaking his head. "You shouldn't judge her before you meet her, Teo. I thought you would have learned that after Marie." He grinned as Ben coughed in his hand, attempting to cover his laugh. Teo just rolled his eyes.

The first time Henry had brought Marie over to meet his 'brothers,' she'd spent half the night glaring at Teo from across the room. Occasionally, she'd raise an eyebrow when he caught her looking at him, almost as if daring him to 'bring it on.' It was after a loudly whispered inquiry about the whereabouts of his "adorable younger brother," and whether Teo had "buried him somewhere in the backyard," that Henry decided it was time to come clean about his profession.

Marie had taken it remarkably well. After taking a day or two to come to terms with the truth, the happy couple was right back where they left off – except Henry now began taking her to the shooting range and showing her the basics of handling and firing a gun. He figured that if she loved him despite his occupation, she was a keeper, and he would do everything in his power to keep her safe.

"Did you let her know you were going to be back from Afghanistan?" Ben asked. The question was more to keep Teo distracted until Mac could finish his flirting, but he was a bit curious as well. Henry was currently the only one of the four with a love life, and it was always interesting to see how the boundaries of the relationship were pushed when Henry was going on an especially dangerous mission or came back hurt.

Henry shook his head. "Every time we go on a mission with Cub, she worries ten times more than when it's just regular SAS duty. She's already stressing about the wedding as it is, and..." he paused, sighing. "And I don't even know how long we'll be here. If we have a few days of R and R when this is over, I might drop by and surprise her."

Ben nodded and continued the conversation, but Teo was much more distracted by a thought that had slowly taken form in his head at Henry's statement. He hadn't really taken much notice of it till now, but the man had really matured over the last two years. Sure, he was still a goofball with wicked fast wit and a pranking streak, but he was no longer as careless with his actions – especially in the field. Having found someone he truly cared about, Henry had realized that he wasn't just living for himself anymore.

And just when Teo was about to get deep into the personal lives and psychology of his team, he saw Sutherland wrapping up his flirt session out of the corner of his eye. The man sauntered over to his unit, a ghost of a smile visible on his face as his hand shoved a folded piece of paper into his pocket.

"So you got her number then, did ya, Mac?" Ben grinned, picking up his pack and swinging it onto his back. Mac gave him a knowing smile.

Teo rolled his eyes. "Right, Sutherland; if you're done wasting our time, we need to head over to the rental lot and pick up the car."

The man glared at him and opened his mouth to retort, but was silenced by a playful jab in the ribs by Henry. "Don't take Teo's attitude to heart, Mac," he said, eyes twinkling. "He's just jealous."

Teo had already stalked half way to the door before he could finish.

"Oh c'mon, Teo! It's no secret that your love life has been found by the roadside, flattened by the semis of misguided affection!" Henry said, panting after the three sniggering men had jogged to catch up with him.

"Yeah, mate! We're your unit! We're here to help you!" Ben attempted a friendly slap on the back, but decided against it when Teo shot him a look that promised he wouldn't be getting that hand back.

They'd just about reached the rental car office, Teo visibly become tenser with each remark.

"Hey," Mac piped up, "maybe if I hit it off with this chic, I can ask her if she has any friends that would be interested in dating The Teminator."

"I think it'd be more like Wolverine…" Ben's forehead scrunched in thought.

Henry shook his head. "I say Mad Eye Moody."

The man finally snapped, whirling around on his teammates. "Do you three ever shut up? Bloody hell! I feel like I'm traveling with Rain Man, Forrest Gump, and Radio or something!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just…wait out here while I get the keys, and try not to run into oncoming traffic, alright?" he said, yanking open the door to the building.

There was a moment of silence as the three men watched Teo approach the counter through the thick glass front.

"Wow…" Ben said finally. "You're right, Mac, definitelyThe Terminator."

Forty-five minutes and several not-so-veiled threats from Teo later, they arrived at The Royal and General Bank. The receptionist waved them past to the elevators with a friendly smile, Teo's eyes narrowing at the flirtatious wink she shot Ben as they passed.

"You know her, Ben?" He said stiffly as the elevator doors closed.

Ben flashed an easy smile. "Of course I do. We've done fifteen missions for MI6 in the past two years, Teo. Don't tell me you haven't gotten to know a few of the people around here."

The man glowered at the wood paneling on the doors in front of him, choosing not to respond. The rest of the ride to the seventh floor was spent in silence – or silent laughter.

Alan Blunt and Mrs. Jones were already seated and waiting for them when they entered the conference room, as was someone else they had all come quite familiar with – and dare they say close to – during the past few years working with him.

"Hey, Cub," Henry said. He frowned when he didn't get a response; the teen didn't even look up from the table. He exchanged a questioning glace with Ben, but the man shrugged and shook his head.

"Gentlemen, as always, thank you for coming," they turned their attention back where Mrs. Jones now stood, passing out files to everyone in the room. "This meeting will hopefully be brief; we want to give you as much time as possible to come up with a strategy before we send you off the day after tomorrow."

Teo opened the file and scanned over the contents, his eyebrows rising as he got to the mission classification. "Recovery?" he asked, looking at Jones for clarification. The only person they had ever had to recover was Cub, and that was thankfully only on a few missions.

"Yes, Wolf," Blunt said, folding his hands on the conference table. "Alex's cover was blown while working undercover in a weapons manufacturing ring; they've decided to make him pay for it."

Mac frowned. "Who are we recovering, then?"

At this Alex's head jerked up, drawing the whole attention of the room. It was immediately apparent by the dark rings under his eyes that the teen hadn't been sleeping well, and there was a gauntness to his frame that hadn't been there the last time K-Unit had seen him. He looked at Teo, and said a name with such dread and finality, that Teo half wondered if they were recovering a corpse.

"Tom Harris. His name is Tom Harris."

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><p><strong>*Ahem* So that would be shameless self-promotion by me. If you want to find out what happened after this epilogue, go check out my work in progress called "Live and Let Die. The story behind the mission they're about to go on is slowly unfolding…all will be revealed. ; )<strong>

_**Scamp – Wow! What a compliment! Thank you! I know, I love how things worked out between the two of them. It makes me happy. :) Thanks for reviewing!**_

_**Albany – Thank you! You've been such a wonderful reviewer and I always love hearing from you. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)**_


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